It’s Your Fault (and Stop Complaining)

It's Your Fault

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Most of us are really good at playing

BlameGame

Right now, jump out of your chair and shout “GAME OVER!”

It’s time to stop pointing the finger at anyone or anything other than yourself.  It’s time to develop a ritual of taking too much responsibility.

(how about getting a Complaint Free Bracelet and challenging yourself to go 21 days without complaining?)

“The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. You no longer dwell on what went wrong or focus on whom you are going to blame. You don’t waste time building roadblocks to your success. Instead, you are set free and can now focus on succeeding.” – Lorii Myers

I promise, taking responsibility for anything you have control over will bring you tranquility, self-esteem, self-empowerment, and a winning attitude.

(it takes a lot of energy, focus, and stress to decide who or what to blame)

Just try it out: 21 days without blaming anyone or anything else.

“Liberty means responsibility.  That is why most men dread it.” – George Bernard Shaw

Will you join me in the journey toward self-responsibility and becoming complaint free?

complaint free world photo

 

 

 

Grades Don’t Matter. Just Do Your Best

Excellence

“Just do your best.” – Buddha’s last lesson 

Grades don’t matter.

“Get A’s” should never be your goal.

Instead, your goal should be: “do my best.”

The 1L Curve is mean — only a handful of the hundreds of bright, talented students in your section will get an A in any given class.  Past your 1L year, many professors are stingy with handing out A’s (this isn’t high school).

The Stoics (such as Marcus Aurelius) advised to set internal rather than external goals.

Thus, your goal in law school should not be to be #1 in the class or get a 4.0 (something external, over which you only have partial control).

Instead, your goal should be to study and perform to the best of your ability in every class (something internal, over which you have complete control).

StopCompetingWithOthers

By choosing the internal goal you will spare yourself the frustration or disappointment should you not achieve your external goal: Since it’s not your goal to be the best, you will not suffer the emotional turmoil as long as you do your best.

If you put in 50% effort and get an A-, you should feel ashamed.

If you put in 100% effort and get a C, you should feel proud.

GradesDontMatter1

Note: doing your best and being the best are actually causally connected; you’ll probably get higher grades if you’re only competing with yourself.

The wise Stoics realized that our internal goals affect our external performance, but they also realized that the goals we consciously set for ourselves can have a dramatic impact on our subsequent emotional state.

In particular, if we consciously set out to be #1 in the class as our goal, we arguably don’t increase our chances of being #1.  In fact, we might even hurt our chances: If it starts looking, early on, as though we are going to get lower grades than we hoped, we might become frustrated or burned out, and this might put us out of the race.

Further, by having our goal linked to an external event that may or may not happen (e.g. get all A’s!), we dramatically increase our chances of being upset on grade distribution day.

But if we set our goal as doing our best, we arguably don’t lessen our chances of getting excellent grades, but we do lessen our chances of being upset on grade distribution day.

Thus, internalizing our goal as doing our best has an upside — reduces emotional anguish in the future — with no downside.

You have complete control over the amount of effort you put into your studies, your essays, your finals.

You have little to no control over the grades you get.

(in fact, it’s well established that professors use the stair toss method to grade exams — luck might not be on your side that day).

Exam-Grade-3a

Summary

  • Your Goal: Do My Best! (you’ll be happier and you’ll perform better)
  • Not Your Goal: Top 10%! (you’ll go crazy and you’ll open yourself up to burnout)

P.S. – Joe Biden, the guy with the most chill job in the world, graduated in the bottom 10% of his law school class.

Joe Biden Sleeping

 

You can always be VP.